The Ones in Between by Lillian Lumley EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available For Free Download
- Authors: Lillian Lumley
- Language: English
- Genre: Popular
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
prologue
I was doomed from the start to have a precarious dating career. It all started
when I began primary school in a beautiful heritage city in the south of
England. I was not born here, though; I arrived into the world in Australia,
but my British-born mother wanted to return to her country of origin with us
before we could be tainted by the rough, more casual, Aussie way of life. She
wished to acquaint us with the delicate English culture while my sister and I
were still young, fresh, and could absorb the knowledge from our surroundings
like a sponge. O we went, the happy family, my sister and I armed with boxes
of Lego, and my parents laden down with jars of Vegemite, to Australia’s
motherland. To most Australians, the English are seen as a well-bred, prim,
and proper race. But do not be deceived by the posh royal accents, beautiful
heritage buildings and love for tea and scones. Despite the fancy front, not all
English people ride their polo ponies on weekends, bring out their best
silverware for high tea with their families, or are besties with Kate Middleton.
e hidden side of the English, the Geordie Shore side, is all too real – the
tracksuit wearing gangs, the girls with their peroxide hair extensions and the
pubs full of soccer watching lads who could drink any tough ‘ocka’ Aussie
bloke under the table. So, there we were in England, where the troubles with
boys started for me.
At the ripe old age of four, full of angelic innocence, my nursery school
boyfriend, omas, told me that we should have sex. We were sitting next to
each other at our low desks in the back of the classroom while our teacher
walked around slowly, checking the progress of the worksheets we were
working on. I peered at him in confusion through my big blue eyes, but I did
not have much time to contemplate what he was saying. To my horror, he
proceeded to present his tiny, accid willy to me under the desk.
I squealed in shock. “Yuck, omas! What is that? Get it away from me!”
I jumped out of my chair in disgust as I backed away from this little pink
thing splayed out in front of me. I had never seen a real-life penis before and I
was quite sure I never wanted to see one again. Shocked beyond belief, with
my dating future unknowingly scarred for life, I went on to ll my days with
horse-riding lessons, ballet classes, and many afternoons under gloomy grey
skies sucking on soggy biscuits dipped in steaming cups of Earl Grey tea. Until
only two years later, we all boarded a ight back to where we belonged: the
sunny land Down Under, where my dating career began in earnest.
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