What’s It Gonna Be? by Monica Walters EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Authors: Monica Walters
- Language: English
- Genre: Black & African American Women’s Fiction
- Format: PDF/ EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
Synthia
“Put your papers in the tray on your way out. I’ll have them
graded by Wednesday.”
I was feeling so sluggish, and my students realized it. They weren’t
giving me a hard time today because of it. I was grouchy as hell too. This
weekend had been disastrous to my mental state. I’d fucked up. I had been
celibate for almost a year before that muthafucka brought his ass along. He
was so fucking sexy and just my type. Bold… sexy… bad boy… tall as
fuck… light as the damn sun. It was something about those light-bright
niggas that made my juices flow like an open faucet.
But now I would have to start all over in my counseling sessions. The
trauma I’d suffered for most of my life had played a significant role in who
I’d become. Avery had destroyed me. My earliest memories were of him
fondling me. He was comfortable in the environment his parents provided,
and they trusted him to look after his little sister. Despite the fact that I
wasn’t blood because I was adopted was still no reason for him to do the
things he’d done to me. The sad part was that by the time I was ten and had
become a woman, I liked the way it felt.
Although I didn’t want to be abused… molested… raped by him, my
body betrayed me because it enjoyed it. I didn’t know if he created my
sexual appetite or if it was in me all along until I met my biological mother.
He’d definitely brought out something that was there already. I couldn’t tell
anyone what was going on, because my body craved the pleasure and Avery
knew that. He took advantage of it. By the time I got to high school, I
started sleeping around a bit. Ninth grade it was only with one boy. Tenth
grade there were a couple. However, eleventh and twelfth grade it got out of
hand.
I lost count of the number of men I’d been with, trying to self-heal and
forget about the things I’d gone through as a kid… how my innocence had
been stolen from me. What was even sadder was that my parents had found
out about what Avery was doing. He’d stopped for a while but then he got
cleverer. During the time that he stopped was when I realized how much I
craved it. He’d only taken a six-month break, then he was right back at it,
taking my body as if it meant nothing.
By the time the last student left, I couldn’t be happier. I had to get to my
therapist… immediately. My mom’s friend, Chrissy, had recommended I
switch to her therapist if I ever felt like the one I was seeing wasn’t helping.
The DA had given me the information for a male therapist. How smart.
When I got there and saw an old white man, I relaxed some. It was working
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