The People Who Report More Stress by Alejandro Varela EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available For Free Download
- Author: Alejandro Varela
- Language: English
- Genre: Hispanic American Literature
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
IT’S LATE JULY, AND YOU’RE sitting on a stoop covered in faint cracks. The
scorching brownstone beneath your thighs is crossing slowly into
unbearable when, all of a sudden, the postcard across the street—a sylvan
park, a profusion of inquisitive dogs and distracted owners, toddling
children and rigid adults—reveals a group of Frisbee-playing twentysomethings. What begins as a harmless, anthropologic scan of skinny legs,
knee-length denim, and Victorian mustaches descends into an obsessive
survey of mounds, mesas, and bulges—more often than not, they catch the
flying disc. Your husband, who burns easily, is sitting in the sliver of shade
beside you. He is unaware of the panorama, immersed instead in the
science-fiction novel he downloaded onto his phone. His pale white feet
rest over his sandals’ brown leather straps; knobby toes grope purely
decorative buckles. He’s been wearing these sandals since you met him. He
orders a new pair every few years. These are his fourth.
“The heat makes it worse,” he says, while balancing Octavia Butler on
his superhero thighs. “The exposed skin roaming around always does this to
you.” His voice is free of judgment, almost bereft of it, but its certainty
dredges up a gnarled tire of your own shame.
“How can we be so different from each other?” you wonder before
saying aloud.
“If this is going to gnaw at you, then just do it,” he says and places his
hand on your lap, less a lover and more a coach; both are a turn-on. “I’m
not worried about us. I’m only worried you’ll beat yourself up afterward.”
These are words you would never say to him. You can’t imagine a
deathbed scenario where you could be so magnanimous.
“What if you end up wanting to do it, too?”
“I won’t.”
You believe him, but you fear going up in a hot air balloon full of
imperceptible tears. On the other hand, it’s just sex.
“Once we have kids, this’ll all get more complicated, logistically
speaking,” he says. “Might as well do it now.”
“I’ll give it some thought,” you say.
You begin by downloading online dating applications. First, one. Then, two.
You draw the line after three. Before you can even ponder your decision,
faces appear. They fill your phone’s screen, in grid formation. A few of the
squares are recognizable: acquaintances predominantly, a few neighbors,
and possibly a poorly lit coworker. You resist an urge to say hello, fearing
you’ll impinge on Internet etiquette or that your greetings might be
misconstrued. You worry that the people who recognize you will think
you’re cheating. You panic, disable your profiles, and disappear. You do
this three times. A few days pass, and you re-enable everything.
You try to be innovative with your greetings (“What do you think: oneor two-state solution?”) and pleasant with your rejections (“I appreciate you
reaching out, but I don’t sense compatibility”). You chat and endure the
eternal pauses.
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