The Highland Fling by Meghan Quinn EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available For Free Download
- Authors: Meghan Quinn
- Language: English
- Genre: Romantic Comedy
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
Cake consumed today: One slice . . . okay two . . . fine, FIVE, FIVE
LARGE SLICES.
Jobs fired from: One, making that a total of three jobs in three years.
What a brilliantly terrible accomplishment.
Eviction notice: One, and not because we didn’t pay our bills but
because we turned a one-bedroom into a two . . . illegally. Oops!
Days since last male-induced orgasm: Sixty-five, and it wasn’t even a
good orgasm, just a twitch of gratification. A blip. Barely a pulse of
pleasure.
Relationship status: Dumped and painfully wallowing in self-pity.
Thank you very much, Harry.
This, my friends, is sad lady status. Enjoy.
“We’re doomed,” I whine, slinking down into the velvety soft cushions of
our thrift store couch. “Why did I have to eat all the cake? Cake would
make this all better right now.”
“Because your life is a mess.”
Dakota Dalton.
Fierce mother hen of our shared one-bedroom apartment, best friend
since I was nine, and can be persuaded by any variety of cake, just like me.
She’s working that whole Meg Ryan circa Kate and Leopold vibe with her
blunt shoulder-length blonde hair and take-no-prisoners style.
She’s my rock.
The reason I’m not lying on the bathroom floor and purposefully
giving myself toilet swirlies—thus is the current status of my mental health.
“How can you possibly be scrolling through Facebook right now,
knowing we’re bound to be homeless in a few weeks?”
“Alcohol,” Dakota says, bringing a pink plastic cup up to her mouth
and draining its contents.
“This is all my fault.”
“How is this your fault?” Dakota asks, pausing at a funny meme of a
sickly-looking SpongeBob serving food.
“I don’t put good vibes out into the world. This is God smiting me.” I
hold my fist up to the air. “I’ll be better, you hear me? I won’t eat all the
cake anymore. I’ll give Dakota two-thirds of every sheet cake I make and
take a measly one-third. That’s love. ‘Share with thy neighbor’ . . .
something like that.” Pleading, I continue, “And . . . and I’ll really apply
myself. Use this brain you bestowed upon me to truly max out my potential.
I won’t go out with guys like Harry anymore. Guys who want one thing and
one thing only: the sin of the bedroom.” I rub my temples, hoping and
praying that any kind of zippity zap from above strikes me with an idea on
how to get us out of this mess. “And I plan on really sending out my
résumé. I’m not sure I want to do the personal-assistant thing. It’s not as
glamorous as I thought it was going to be—one person can only pick up dry
cleaning so many times before losing their mind. But I’ll find something.
This weekend I’ll, uh . . . I’ll take a career assessment test. Yes, perfect. I’ll
take a test. Multiple, actually. I’ll take five . . . no, ten. Ten seems like a
good number. You like the number ten . . . Ten Commandments and all.” I
smirk at the big guy. “I’ll take ten career assessment tests, and then I’ll
apply to jobs that best fit my talents.
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