Not Meant To Be Broken by Cora Reilly EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Authors: Cora Reilly
- Language: English
- Genre: New Adult & College Romance
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
Amber
Regret pressed down on my chest, threatening to crush me. This was a new
beginning; I couldn’t let my fear get the better of me again. I risked another
glance at Dad. It wasn’t only my happiness on the line if I failed. His hands
clutched the steering wheel as if it was the only thing keeping him rooted. He
didn’t look my way. He almost never did. His brown eyes were far away,
caught somewhere in the past, no doubt. Lost in a time when things were
easier, in a time when I was still myself, when I knew how to be happy.
I turned back to the window. Cars and houses were a streak of color as we
drove by. Motion sickness mingled with nerves in my stomach.
Why had I ever thought this was a good idea?
Because after three years of hiding at home, I felt the walls closing in on me;
because most days I couldn’t even stand the sight of my room. And yet it was
a safe place for me, possibly the only safe place. A place where nobody ever
bothered me, where I could be alone – except for the few hours I spent with
Dad after he came home from work.
But I couldn’t go on like this, or I’d never learn to live again.
Learning to live again.
That’s all Dad wanted me to try. He’d been worrying too much about me for
the last three years, and for entirely different reasons than most parents
worried about their teenage children. But I never truly got the chance to be a
teenager. The incident prevented that, and though I’m only nineteen the
weight bearing down on my soul makes me feel like I’ve lived for much too
long already.
I feel old, worn out, drained.
The happy young girl from before was gone, replaced by a shadow of my
former self.
Sometimes I didn’t even recognize myself, and I could only guess how much
worse it was for Dad and my brother to witness how I’d changed; how I’d
slowly morphed into a corpse going through the motions of the day because I
had to, not because I wanted to.
I knew it was time to leave my shell and socialize. I wished it was as easy as
it sounded, but if one thing wasn’t easy for me, then it was getting into
contact with other people. Closeness was pure torture for me. It made my
skin crawl. People scared me. Sometimes I wondered if it would always be
like that.
I hated it when people watched me as if I was a freak because of the way I
acted. I tried so hard to be like them, tried to act normal.
But normal required being close to people, and allowing closeness reminded
me of what happened, and that was the one thing I feared even more than
closeness itself. Memories – being reminded of what had happened and what
I’d lost – were too much for me to bear. They reminded me of what could
never be.
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