Beneath the Surface by Kaira Rouda EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Author: Kaira Rouda
- Language: English
- Genre: Women’s Psychological Fiction
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
PAIGE
My heart fills with a sinking feeling, a weight I can’t shake. That’s the only
way I can describe it to my husband, Ted. He’s driving and I’m trying to be
calm. It’s not working.
“I suppose that’s apropos of something, sweetie, given we’ll be
boating this weekend.” Ted grins. In front of us, the light changes. He
pounds the steering wheel in frustration. “Seriously? Another red light?
We’re going to be late now, for sure.”
Most of the reason for our tardiness lies with me. I hate leaving the
kids. Even now. They’re teenage twins, just graduated high school, and
they’re fine without me for one night, I know. It’s an irrational, deep-seatedcontrol thing called motherhood. As I think about it, I swallow a lump in
my throat. This has been our goodbye year. They are off to college in the
fall. I’m not ready for the empty nest they’ll leave in their wake. Sure, I
help run Orange County’s food bank—one of the largest and, in fundraising
terms, most successful in the nation. But it’s as a volunteer. I told them
years ago when they offered me the CEO position—and every year since—
Ted and I decided I’d be a mom full-time. And I have been.
I glance at Ted and push down the sorrow. It’s not like I will be emptynesting alone. Ted and I will reconnect, have date nights. We’ll have a real
relationship again. It will be wonderful, I tell myself. I hope this trip will
bring us closer.
But I’m still worried about being away from the girls, no matter how
much Ted and I do need some alone time. For some reason, he is unaffected
by any such tension or worry. I believe that may be called fatherhood. Still,
if he touches me again—like a wife instead of a roommate of sorts—well,
I’ll forgive him for the months of distance and sexual disinterest. I can’t
seem desperate for his attention, his affection; I know that much about my
husband. Instead of bringing up our lack of romance, I’ll focus on my very
real fear of this boating trip. That way, Ted can be my knight in shining
armor and we’ll be partners again, in everything. That’s my dream, at least.
“Maybe all these red lights are a sign we should stay home? Did you
know that the water between here and Catalina Island forms one of the
deepest saltwater channels in the world? We’ll be crossing over four
thousand feet of deep, dark ocean,” I say and grip the passenger armrest of
Ted’s Tesla. I’m not an ocean person, despite growing up in Southern
California. Give me a nice pool, and I’m happy. I’ll walk the beach, too,
with the best of them. But swim in the sea? Never.
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