Bears in Mind by Sam Hall EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Author: Katharine
- Language: English
- Genre: Paranormal Vampire Romance
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
I can’t do this, I thought, as I stood on the steps to Garrett’s, the local
pub. I wasn’t usually one for having mental conversations with myself,
but I was having one right now. I can’t.
The crazy thing was that I had done this, plenty of times before. I knew
this place well: the wooden door, the neon sign, the advertisements of the
day’s specials blu-takked to the windows. I even knew the thud of the heavy
bass line coming from the jukebox that was still churning out the same damn
80s pub rock it’d played since I’d first started sneaking in here, underage. I’d
walked in that door more times than I could count and yet… here I stood on
the steps, pulling my denim jacket tighter around me, delving into the
pockets, searching for my keys. I’d get in the car, go home and…
The reality of what faced me if I did go home, that’s what stopped me.
Instead, I shoved my keys deeper into my pocket and pulled my hands free.
There was nothing safe about going home. I couldn’t just sink into a hot
bath with a good book, calling out to my husband to refill my glass of wine
when I emptied it. I couldn’t smile up at him as he turned the hot water back
on for me when the bath started to get cold. If I went home, it would be to a
house both empty and full at the same time.
“Nat, I…” When my husband struggled to find words, that’s when I’d
realised something was very, very wrong, and the comfortable world I’d
existed in started to fracture. I’d forced myself to look at him then, really
seeing him in that moment and feeling then that he really saw me. His lips
had pursed and then it had all come out. “I’m not attracted to you anymore.”
He’d dropped that bomb one night after work, as we’d sat down to
dinner. He’d prefaced his statement by telling me we needed to talk, and any
appetite I might have felt for the Mongolian lamb and noodles I’d prepared
well and truly disappeared. He’d watched my fork clatter on my plate, then
nodded as if this was to be expected.
Which had made me think he’d had this on his mind for some time.
“You know I still love you.”
Did I? Did I really? He’d taken my hand and given it a squeeze, shooting
me that same crooked smile that had drawn me to him in the first place, ten
years ago; but I had barely been able to feel his hand on mine.
“I don’t want to split up, get a divorce or anything.”
He’d sounded so fucking reasonable, talking calmly. Yet my throat closed
up, stopping any oxygen from getting in, any words from getting out.
“I want us to try…” He’d straightened up then, something hardening in
the brown eyes I’d stared into so lovingly over the years. “I want us to try an
open marriage.”
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