Swimming in a Sea of Stars by Julie Wright EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Author: Julie Wright
- Language: English
- Genre: Historical Fiction
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
Addison’s Journal
December 6, 4:14 p.m.
Dear Diary,
Oy, I just penned the stupidest opening to anything in the world. I cannot believe I just
wrote that. “Dear diary . . .” As if I’m a thirteen-year-old girl smacking pink bubble gum under
a too-bright sun glaring off a bedazzled journal cover. I’m seventeen. I hate pink. I would
rather die than have a bedazzled anything.
Wow.
What would my therapist say about that sentence? I would rather die . . .
I have to go to school tomorrow. I have to face everyone. And the only thing my therapist
is arming me with is this diary. She says if I document all the times when I feel stressed or
insecure or afraid or sad, I’ll be able to understand those feelings better, and I will be able to
work through them. The therapist said I’m special and this diary will help me figure it out. But
how can a diary and a pen I stole from the therapist’s office make me special? I think we
could actually finish this exercise with that little tidbit right there. A diary is not special. Petty
theft is downright embarrassing.
It is a nice pen, though. I’m keeping it.
The therapist asked me to call her Alison. I don’t. I don’t know what that says about me. I
don’t think writing any of this is helping, but I’m not really in a position to argue. She’s “The
Therapist,” and I’m just “The Girl Who Tried to Kill Herself.” That’s what they will all say when
I get to school—“There goes the Girl Who Tried to Kill Herself.” I don’t think there is anyone
left in the state of Massachusetts who hasn’t heard about the Girl Who Tried to Kill Herself.
They’ll speculate as to why. And they’ll all be wrong.
They’ll say it was a bad home life.
Not true.
They’ll say it was bullying and talk about all the mean girls and boys who walk the halls of
public school.
Not true.
They’ll say it was a boy who didn’t return my affections.
Not true.
Maybe true.
Sort of true.
I don’t know what’s true.
I remember this poem I read in English class once. It was by a British lady named Stevie
Smith about someone in the middle of the ocean trying to catch the attention of the people
on the shore. But the man who was in the ocean hadn’t been waving. He’d been drowning. I
think about that poem a lot because I am in the ocean, waving frantically. But no one’s
waving back at me. I’m out here alone.
Maybe that’s not true either. I have my mom.
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