Mad About You by Mhairi McFarlane EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
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- Authors: Mhairi McFarlane
- Language: English
- Genre: Women’s Friendship Fiction
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
One month later
‘Read me the menu again would you, I’ve totally forgotten what we’re
having for main course,’ Jonathan said, swinging his gleaming silver
Mercedes lustily around a corner, precariously close to a dry stone wall.
It always took Harriet aback that Jon’s driving was completely out of step
with every other aspect of his demeanour. Put a steering wheel in his hands,
and mild-mannered, cautious Jon became flamboyant, even cocky.
Harriet unlocked her phone, scrolled to the relevant page and read aloud.
‘… Aged Yorkshire venison … heritage carrot … ramson … miso
cashew cream.’
‘What’s a ramson when it’s at home? And I’m pretty vague on the
properties of miso cashew cream, truth be told.’
‘To think you work in the food industry.’
‘Not at the miso cashew cream end.’
Harriet prodded at the handset to google it, briefly bracing her free palm
on the car door to ward off motion sickness.
‘It is a bulbous perennial flowering plant in the amaryllis family.
Garlicky, by the sounds of it.’
‘Good-oh. And we told them about my special condition?’
Allergic to lettuce. Harriet sometimes thought that was Jon in three
words. Who on earth is allergic to lettuce? Imagine the shame at the
inquest. Cause of Death: radicchio.
‘Your mum said she’d do it.’
And if she decides she didn’t say that, I have the texts as receipts.
Harriet treated dealings with her in-laws like running Churchill’s War
Rooms. You napped with one eye open around Jacqueline Barraclough.
Harriet pushed her phone back into her handbag and fiddled with the
volume on ‘Missing’ by Everything But The Girl.
‘Actually, can we have it off, please, Hats? I’m getting one of my
headaches,’ Jon said.
‘Sure, pull over in a lay-by.’
‘What?’
‘Have it off. Never mind.’
Jon threw her a baffled glance. He was one of those people who thought
he had a great sense of humour. His GSOH was more like a burglar alarm:
might work if he turned it on, but he often forgot.
‘John F. Kennedy had to have sex several times a day or else he got
headaches, you know,’ Harriet said.
‘Inconvenient, given his workload. Would ibuprofen not do the job?’ Jon
said.
‘Nope, had to be Marilyn Monroe.’
‘Ah.’
Harriet could tell she was irritating him slightly. She couldn’t say this
sort of thing in front of his tightly wound parents, and they were close to
entering their planetary atmosphere. Jon, already on his guard, wanted
Harriet to behave accordingly. Like an actor getting into character on set,
before they shouted ‘action’.
‘Presume they’re whipping up chicken nugs and chips for Joffrey
Baratheon?’ Harriet said.
Jon gave her a sideways look, and tutted. ‘Oh, he’s not that bad. He’s
twelve soon, entering adulthood! We’re all allowed a grotty phase as a kid.’
Harriet said nothing more because Jon’s mother, Jackie, his father, Martin
Senior, elder brother, Martin Junior, his wife, Melissa and their eleven-yearold son Barty (Bartholomew for tellings-off, which Harriet thought were all
too scarce) were all in one big rolling grotty phase.
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