Feeling Great by David D. Burns EPUB & PDF

Feeling Great by David D. Burns EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online

  • Status: Available For Free Download
  • Author: David D. Burns
  • Language: English
  • Genre: Fantasy
  • Format: PDF / EPUB
  • Size: 2 MB
  • Price: Free

When we were living in Philadelphia, my wife and I had some carpentry
and painting done on our house, which took several weeks. On the last day,
Frank, our carpenter, was on his knees at our front door, finishing up the
work. As I was walking through the entryway, I noticed that he looked
discouraged, so I told Frank that my wife and I had really appreciated the
fabulous work he’d done to make our house more beautiful and that we
were sad that today was his last day.

Frank thanked me and wondered if he could ask me a question. He said
he’d heard that I was some kind of doctor and didn’t want to impose. I told
him I’d be happy to answer his question if I could. Frank said he was
feeling down and wondered if I knew anything about depression or if he
needed a medication of some kind.

My heart went out to him because he’d been working so hard and had
done such great work for us. I told Frank that depression usually results
from the way we think about things and asked if he’d noticed any negative
thoughts floating across his mind when he was feeling down. What was he
thinking? What was he telling himself?
He said he was thinking about the fact that he was getting old. He was
telling himself that his body wouldn’t be able to keep up the same pace for
much longer, and he was worried that he might not have enough money to
support himself and his wife if he retired. He explained that carpentry was
all he’d done since graduation from high school. Now that he was in his
sixties, it dawned on him that he’d never accomplished anything really
meaningful or significant in his life. He looked meek and humble and
seemed on the verge of tears. I felt sad for him.

I asked Frank if I could try something that might be helpful called the
double standard technique. The basis for this technique is that most of us
operate on a double standard. When we’re upset or fall short of our goals,
we tend to beat up on ourselves with harsh criticisms. But if we were
talking to a dear friend with the same exact problem, we’d do so in a far
more compassionate, supportive, and realistic way. Once you’re aware of
this, you can ask yourself if you’d be willing to talk to yourself in the same
compassionate way you’d talk to a dear friend. No single method works for
everyone, but this one is often effective.

I asked Frank to imagine he was talking to a good friend who was very
similar to him, like a long-lost identical twin or a clone. This imaginary
friend is also a carpenter who’s getting close to retirement, and he’s been
doing carpentry ever since high school.

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