The Oath We Give (THE HOLLOW BOYS #5) by Monty Jay EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Authors: Monty Jay
- Language: English
- Genre: contemporary romance
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 3.1 MB
- Price: Free
DIM STARS
CORALINE
Eight Months of Freedom
November
The piece of paper in my hand is worn.
Crinkled from being shoved deep into a pair of burnt-orange Vans that
sit in the back of my closet. I’m surprised it’s held the white color it had
when it was originally given to me.
I smooth my thumb across the scrawled digits, the moon providing me
just enough light to make them out clearly. My back rests against the side of
my parents’ house, the white slats digging into my back and the roof
rubbing against my thighs.
The night sky is brilliant tonight. Many people don’t even know that
because of the complete lack of light interference, the Oregon Coast
provides some of the best views of starlight and the Milky Way.
There was a time when I would spend hours on this roof, lying on my
back, blowing smoke rings, and contemplating just how vast our universe
was. Smiling to myself as the stars winked at me, as if mischievously
saying, You’ll never know all our secrets, but you can admire our truths.
Tears wet the apples of my cheeks, shed so casually that I don’t even
notice them anymore until a breeze passes by.
I’m not usually like this. Weepy and sad. I do not often stumble drunk
onto my parents’ roof to cry about what happened to me, to feel sorry for
myself. Life is a constant pendulum of pain. Everyone experiences it, and I
am not special.
So maybe it’s my father’s expensive cognac that I stole from his office
or the smell of rain in the wind that is unearthing these emotions I carefully
buried.
I keep thinking if I just continue doing things the way I did before, if I
mold myself into the person I was prior to being taken, life will go back to
normal. Last week, I hung out with friends from high school. We sat at the
cafe we’d frequented every Thursday during our summers off school.
Yesterday, my stepmother and father demanded I attend an art show, and I
went. Tonight, I’m sitting on the roof to stargaze.
The tea at Luca’s Cafe was bitter and cold. The friends I once knew
were strangers with moving lives, while mine is stagnant. Art, which had
always been something I found joy in, was lacking life. And the stars don’t
feel so bright anymore.
When I stand in the mirror, I look the same. I am the Coraline my
family and friends recognize, but I am a different person now. I was never
this afraid before. Scared to breathe, to move, to live.
On the inside, I’m still Circe.
I left that basement physically, but I’m still living in it mentally.
I hate it. Despise myself for living in fear, being stagnant, and not just
moving the fuck on with my life. I was kidnapped, beaten, raped. So what?
There are millions of people who experience that. I’m lucky. I shouldn’t
feel so fucking sad.
My bed I’ve had since freshman year of high school is too soft. There is
always too much sun, and everything is loud. Food doesn’t taste like
anything but sustenance, and joy has become a dream just out of my reach.
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