Weddings, Revenge & Fake Dating (ROM-COM BOOK BOYFRIEND #1) by Rebel Warren EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Authors: Rebel Warren
- Language: English
- Genre: contemporary romance
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 4.1 MB
- Price: Free
jeanie
O-Face
IF MY HOROSCOPE had warned me I’d be waking up this
morning pretzeled with a manly blow-up sex doll as if we’d had a wild
night of bumping uglies, I would have laughed. But now that I’m here, I’m
ready to cry.
And honestly, I can’t be sure Bobo the Boy Balloon and I haven’t done
the deed because his strangely attractive facial features are frozen with an
overly happy O-face, like he came and died on impact.
At least he got his. If only I could remember mine. I frown.
His firm vinyl limbs squeak like balloons as I disentangle myself from
him with slow movements. Somehow the noise hurts, making my eyeballs
itch and my teeth ring like high-pitched bells.
What’s worse? Sitting up causes a new intense pain.
A hangover blooms, igniting a tremor that snakes its tentacles
throughout every inch of my body. I wince and squeeze my eyes tight,
deciding to feel my way through this unfortunate situation instead.
With my eyes closed, I rise from the bed with stiff, robotic movements.
My bedroom floor feels different beneath my feet, but I don’t have the
mental bandwidth to figure out why.
On shaky legs, I hobble forward, stub my toe, and stumble several paces
until my face slams into a wall where my bathroom door should be. I
whimper and stagger backward, rubbing my nose.
Maybe I should open one eye?
One sticky eye cracks open. Through the crusty blur, I discover
something epically disturbing. I glance around, but I have no idea where I
am. When I scratch my head in confusion, a rainbow clip-on hairpiece falls
to the floor near my feet.
The unfamiliar bedroom is strangely quiet, except for the slow,
methodical rotation of a highly annoying pulsing disco light. It casts purpleand-pink colored beams across the ceiling.
I navigate a myriad of crap littered across the floor . . . beach balls,
unicorn masks, confetti, stuffed animals, pompoms, and too many empty
champagne bottles to count.
Too bad I can’t remember the wild soirée a party store clearly
sponsored in my honor.
Despite the bizarre items, something even stranger captures my
attention.
A brilliant halo of light peeks around the edges of a curtained wall. I
know it’s not so weird to the average person, but to me, it’s the brightest sun
I’ve seen during a Chicago winter since, ah, never.
Curiosity outweighs my lack of energy, so I yank open the curtains. A
blinding death ray pours in, and I crouch into the shadows like a vampire
disintegrating to dust. It turns out sunshine mixed with a hangover is
unbearable.
I cringe. Stick a wooden stake in me.
After adjusting, I shade my eyes with my palms and investigate. Beyond
the window is a bluebird-colored sky, palm trees, and charming pastelcolored lifeguard stands dotting a stretch of majestic beach.
This is not the wintry hellscape of Chicago I’m used to. In fact, this is
the opposite of a blustery ice-covered city where people dress like polar
bears for half the year to stay alive.
Alarmed and bordering on shock, I place my palms and naked body
against the AC-chilled window, desperately scouring the landscape for more
details.
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