The Quit List by Katie Bailey EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Authors: Katie Bailey
- Language: English
- Genre: Women’s Humorous Fiction
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
HOLLY
Ever heard the saying, “Quit while you’re ahead?”
It’s very, very helpful. Like, when you’re in Vegas for your sister’s
bachelorette party, and you’re up fifty bucks on the slot machines, but then
that last gin and tonic you just knew was a bad idea starts to make your head
a little fuzzy, and you can’t help but funnel that cash back into the machine,
convinced that the little pieces of fruit are going to align and you’re going
to be the Strip’s next instant millionaire.
For one glorious moment, you’re invincible. Powerful. You can do
anything.
As your fifty bucks whittles away and you fall behind, you begin to feed
the beast with more and more cash, determined to regain your position in
the lead…
Then, the next morning, you wake up The Hangover-style, with last
night’s mascara panda-ing your eye sockets, a slice of lime tangled in your
hair, grease from the fried chicken sandwich you devoured at 3AM
splattered all over your dress, and an email from your bank regarding
unusual activity on your account.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner, you are not.
“I’m not following, honey. What does your drunken trip to Vegas have
to do with us ordering dessert?” My date, Keith—because of course he’s
named Keith—frowns at me as he wipes the remnants of his lobster ravioli
from his lips with a napkin.
Everything! I want to scream. It has everything to do with it!
But instead of screaming (because if I’ve learned anything from dating,
it’s that no one likes a madwoman), I calmly splay my hands on the linen
tablecloth and force myself to look Keith straight in the eye. “We should’ve
quit while we were ahead. Instead, we stuck out this date for the past two
hours while we both wished we were somewhere else. Right?”
Keith stares at me blankly.
“So now,” I continue reasonably, “we should cut our losses, settle the
bill 50/50, and get on with our lives. Ordering dessert is only going to drag
out the inevitable. We both know that you’re not going to call in one day, or
three, or seven, or whatever the recommended wait time is these days, and
that we’re never going to see each other again.”
My dinner companion continues to stare at me like I have two heads and
one mouth. Even in his stupor, he’s actually quite nice looking with that
thick blond hair and chiseled jawline. You know, objectively speaking. Like
if you see him from a far, far distance that puts you nowhere near his
personality.
Truth is, I can’t say I blame him for seeming so flummoxed.
This isn’t how I usually end dates.
When a date goes badly, I tend to do what every other normal person
does: I pretend that I had a lovely time, say that I look forward to him
calling (when we both know he won’t), and the night ends after dessert with
a perfectly amicable—if a little disingenuous—parting of ways. Thereby
avoiding all unnecessary conflict in the process.
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