Nerdy and the Dirty by B. T. Gottfred EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Author: B. T. Gottfred
- ISBN:978-1250129772
- Language: English
- Genre: Teen & Young Adult Contemporary Romance, Teen & Young Adult Fiction
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Page: 317
- Price: Free
BENEDICT MAXIMUS
PENDLETON
“I’m very handsome. I don’t really think this is a question of
opinion. I am objectively handsome,” I said to Robert, who
was staring at his roast-beef sandwich. He always stared at his
sandwiches. This made it difficult to have conversations. I’ve
talked to him about it. He’s working on the problem.
“I agree, Benedict,” Robert said to me. Toward the roast
beef but to me.
“Of course you agree. You are a logical person. I am six
feet one inch tall, slender but not skinny because I do fifty
push-ups every morning and every night. My eyes and nose
are proportional. My ears might be slightly large for my head,
but my thick head of hair, which I style every day, should
more than compensate. I also dress very well. Not trendy. I
dress with sophistication.”
“I like how you dress,” Robert said.
“Thank you. I know you do. Sports jackets are woefully
underrepresented in the wardrobes of today’s teenagers. Do
you know why I am telling you this, Robert?”
“No.”
“I am telling you this, Robert, because I think it is time I
get a girlfriend.”
“You’ve never had a girlfriend.”
“I know! Obviously. But only because my dad told me I
could not date until I was sixteen. He wanted me to
concentrate on school. This was great advice.”
“Your dad is very smart.”
“He is. Obviously. But I turn seventeen in six days and not
one girl has expressed interest in me the past year, and though
some of the fault must lie in the female student population of
Riverbend High School, I must also admit that, with my
having been on the proverbial sidelines of the dating scene
until a year ago, they might not be aware of my availability
and interest.”
* * *
In the several seconds it took Robert to respond, Evil Benny
started talking in my head. Evil Benny is not real. I’m not
crazy. It’s just self-doubt. I call this voice, this self-doubt, Evil
Benny because I want to make sure my better self
differentiates itself from my lesser self. And Evil Benny,
obviously, is my lesser self. It is easier to ignore Evil Benny if
I make him a separate person. I don’t actually think he’s a
separate person.
That would make me crazy, which I have
already stated I am not. I just make him separate in my head.
Evil Benny says very untrue, very destructive things like “You
don’t have a girlfriend because you are very unlikable.” So,
obviously, destructive thoughts are not productive. That’s why
he’s Evil Benny and must be ignored. I will expunge him, and
self-doubt entirely, from my head someday soon. I am sure of
it.
* * *
“I’d like a girlfriend,” Robert said, which made me happy
since it was easier to ignore Evil Benny when I could talk.
“Robert…” I started, but then stopped.
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