All That We Never Were by Alice Kellen EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Author: Alice Kellen
- Language: English
- Genre: New Adult & College Romance
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
Axel
I was lying on the surfboard while the sea swayed around me. That day, the
crystalline water seemed held by a giant swimming pool; there were no
waves, no wind, and no noise. I heard my own tranquil breath and the
splashing whenever I let my arms drop, and then I quit and just stayed there
motionless, staring at the horizon.
I could say I was waiting for conditions to change so I could catch a
good wave, but I knew perfectly well that there wouldn’t be one that day.
Or that I was killing time, as I often did. But I remember what I was really
doing was thinking. Yes, thinking about my life, with the sensation that I’d
reached all my goals and lived one dream after another. “I’m happy,” I told
myself. And I think it was the tone that echoed in my head, that faint
question mark, that made me furrow my brows, still gazing at the
undulating surface. “Am I happy?” I asked myself. I didn’t like that
quivering doubt, vivid, demanding my attention.
I closed my eyes before taking off into the sea.
Later, with my surfboard under my arm, I went back home, walking
barefoot over the sand of the beach and the trail lined with weeds. I pushed
the door open––because of the humidity, it was always stuck––left the
board on the back porch, and continued inside. I placed a folded towel on
the chair and didn’t get dressed, sitting instead at my desk, which was the
embodiment of chaos and took up an entire side of the living room. Chaos,
at least, for any sane person. Papers full of notes, others with discarded
proofs, the rest of it just meaningless scribbles. On the right, there was a
clearing with pens, pencils, pictures; above it, a calendar with days marked
out before the deadline, and on the other side, my computer.
I looked through the accumulated work and answered a few emails
before continuing with the project I was working on just then, a tourist
brochure for the Gold Coast. It was basic, an illustration of a beach with the
curved lines of waves and the blurry shadows of surfers. The kind of job I
enjoyed most: simple, quick, clear, and well paid. No nonsense about
“improvising,” about “keeping your suggestions in mind,” just a simple
“draw a fucking beach.”
After a while, I made a sandwich with the few ingredients left in the
fridge and served myself my second coffee of the day, cold, without sugar. I
was about to bring the cup to my lips when someone knocked at the door. I
didn’t usually get unannounced visitors, so I left the coffee on the counter
with a frown.
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